9 October 2025
What Culture Coaches Know That Most Leaders Don’t
Your stated culture is what you say you value. Your lived culture is what actually gets rewarded, tolerated, and punished.
There is a reason that companies like Google, Salesforce, and Unilever are increasingly hiring culture coaches. It is not because culture is a nice-to-have that has finally made it onto the agenda. It is because these organisations have learned, often the hard way, that culture is the single biggest determinant of whether a strategy actually gets executed.
And yet, in my experience working with leadership teams across sectors and continents, culture remains the thing that organisations most consistently get wrong.
The Culture Mistake Everyone Makes
The most common culture mistake I see is treating culture as something that can be designed in a workshop and rolled out in a communications plan. Leaders spend six figures on consultants who produce beautiful values statements and culture playbooks. The words go up on the wall. The CEO gives a speech. Everyone nods. And then nothing changes.
This happens because most leaders confuse stated culture with lived culture. Your stated culture is what you say you value. Your lived culture is what actually gets rewarded, tolerated, and punished. When those two things are misaligned—and they almost always are—your people believe the lived version every time.
“Your stated culture is what you say you value. Your lived culture is what actually gets rewarded, tolerated, and punished.”
What Culture Coaches Actually Do
A good culture coach does not help you write better values. They help you see the gap between what you say and what you do. They sit in your meetings and notice who gets interrupted. They observe your hiring process and see which qualities you actually select for (as opposed to which ones are in the job description). They talk to the people three levels down and hear the stories that never reach the C-suite.
The best culture coaches operate like organisational anthropologists. They study the rituals, symbols, and unwritten rules that actually govern behaviour. And then they help leaders see what they have been too close to notice.
Three Truths About Culture That Leaders Need to Hear
Culture is not a project with a deadline. You do not “fix” culture and move on. Culture is a living system that requires constant attention. The moment you stop paying attention to it, it starts reverting to whatever the path of least resistance is—which is usually the culture you were trying to change.
Culture change starts with leadership behaviour, not employee programmes. I have watched organisations roll out culture programmes targeted at middle management while the C-suite continued to operate exactly as before. This does not work. Culture flows from the top. If you want to change the culture, you have to change what the most powerful people in the organisation do every day.
The culture you tolerate is the culture you have. Every organisation has people who deliver exceptional results while treating others badly. When you tolerate this—when the high performer is exempt from the values—you have just told everyone what the real culture is. And no amount of values workshops will undo that message.
“The culture you tolerate is the culture you have.”
Why This Matters for Women Leaders
Women leaders are disproportionately affected by toxic culture—and disproportionately skilled at building healthy ones. The research consistently shows that women leaders are more likely to check in on their team’s wellbeing, to create inclusive decision-making processes, and to prioritise psychological safety.
If you are a woman in a leadership role, culture is not just something you should care about. It is likely your greatest competitive advantage. The question is whether your organisation is willing to let you lead on it—and whether you are willing to insist.
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9 October 2025
What Culture Coaches Know That Most Leaders Don’t
Your stated culture is what you say you value. Your lived culture is what actually gets rewarded, tolerated, and punished.
There is a reason that companies like Google, Salesforce, and Unilever are increasingly hiring culture coaches. It is not because culture is a nice-to-have that has finally made it onto the agenda. It is because these organisations have learned, often the hard way, that culture is the single biggest determinant of whether a strategy actually gets executed.
And yet, in my experience working with leadership teams across sectors and continents, culture remains the thing that organisations most consistently get wrong.
The Culture Mistake Everyone Makes
The most common culture mistake I see is treating culture as something that can be designed in a workshop and rolled out in a communications plan. Leaders spend six figures on consultants who produce beautiful values statements and culture playbooks. The words go up on the wall. The CEO gives a speech. Everyone nods. And then nothing changes.
This happens because most leaders confuse stated culture with lived culture. Your stated culture is what you say you value. Your lived culture is what actually gets rewarded, tolerated, and punished. When those two things are misaligned—and they almost always are—your people believe the lived version every time.
What Culture Coaches Actually Do
A good culture coach does not help you write better values. They help you see the gap between what you say and what you do. They sit in your meetings and notice who gets interrupted. They observe your hiring process and see which qualities you actually select for (as opposed to which ones are in the job description). They talk to the people three levels down and hear the stories that never reach the C-suite.
The best culture coaches operate like organisational anthropologists. They study the rituals, symbols, and unwritten rules that actually govern behaviour. And then they help leaders see what they have been too close to notice.
Three Truths About Culture That Leaders Need to Hear
Culture is not a project with a deadline. You do not “fix” culture and move on. Culture is a living system that requires constant attention. The moment you stop paying attention to it, it starts reverting to whatever the path of least resistance is—which is usually the culture you were trying to change.
Culture change starts with leadership behaviour, not employee programmes. I have watched organisations roll out culture programmes targeted at middle management while the C-suite continued to operate exactly as before. This does not work. Culture flows from the top. If you want to change the culture, you have to change what the most powerful people in the organisation do every day.
The culture you tolerate is the culture you have. Every organisation has people who deliver exceptional results while treating others badly. When you tolerate this—when the high performer is exempt from the values—you have just told everyone what the real culture is. And no amount of values workshops will undo that message.
Why This Matters for Women Leaders
Women leaders are disproportionately affected by toxic culture—and disproportionately skilled at building healthy ones. The research consistently shows that women leaders are more likely to check in on their team’s wellbeing, to create inclusive decision-making processes, and to prioritise psychological safety.
If you are a woman in a leadership role, culture is not just something you should care about. It is likely your greatest competitive advantage. The question is whether your organisation is willing to let you lead on it—and whether you are willing to insist.
Explore more leadership resources →
Ready to transform your leadership? Learn about the Lab →
← Back to Commentary